Labour is already hard work. A few small habits in the room can make it harder than it needs to be — not because anyone is doing anything wrong on purpose, but because they're the instinctive thing to do under pressure. Here are the three that come up again and again, and what tends to work better instead.
Mistake 1: Holding your breath while pushing
The instinct in the moment is to take a huge breath, hold it, and push as hard as possible — it feels like it should generate the most force. In practice, deep breathing and controlled pushing work better. Holding your breath tenses you up all over, including the muscles you actually need to relax, and it tires you out faster over a long second stage. Breathing through each contraction and pushing with steady, guided effort — following your doctor or nurse's cues rather than straining against your own held breath — tends to be both more effective and less exhausting.
Mistake 2: Lying flat the whole time
Lying flat on your back for the entire labour is the default many women fall into, mostly because it's what they've seen in movies. It isn't the only option, and it isn't always the best one. Side-lying, squatting, walking between contractions, and supported sitting all help labour progress in their own way — gravity and movement can help the baby descend, and changing position can ease pain and reduce how long the second stage takes. Ask what positions are available to you in your labour room, and don't assume flat-on-your-back is the only way to do this.
Mistake 3: Letting fear and panic take over
This one is less physical and just as real. Fear and panic trigger cortisol and adrenaline, and those hormones can actually slow contractions down — the body's stress response and its labour response work against each other. The opposite state — feeling safe, supported and calm — releases oxytocin, the hormone that drives contractions forward. This is part of why a calm room, a familiar support person, and clear communication from your care team aren't just comfort measures; they can have a real effect on how labour moves.
None of these three are about getting it "right" — they're about knowing you have options in the moment instead of defaulting to the hardest version.
Frequently asked
Is it bad if I did hold my breath while pushing in an earlier delivery?
No — it's one of the more common instincts, and plenty of deliveries go perfectly well this way. It's simply something you can ask your team to coach you through differently this time if you'd like to try it.
Can I ask to change position during labour if I'm already lying down?
Yes. Unless there's a specific medical reason you need to stay in one position (your doctor will tell you if so), asking to sit up, kneel, or walk between contractions is a reasonable request at any point.
Does feeling scared mean my labour will definitely be harder?
Not definitely — but managing fear (through breathing techniques, a support person, or simply understanding what's happening) is one of the few parts of labour you have some control over, and it's worth using.
What can my partner or support person actually do to help with this?
Staying calm themselves, speaking reassuringly, and helping you change position or focus on breathing are genuinely useful — a calm companion in the room supports exactly the oxytocin response described above.
Preparing for a normal delivery covers what helps before you're in the labour room; if you're also weighing pain relief, what an epidural actually feels like is worth reading alongside this.